New Year’s Review

Here comes the necessary year-in-review post.  I think this post will be short – I had an exceedingly blessed 2010.  I recall the near depression I was in at the end of 2009, thinking that there was very little life could throw at me to make me feel lower.  I knew that 2010 had to be better to me than 2009 had been, or else I probably would have started doubting the existence of God…yes, it was that bad.  And 2010 swept through with more blessings than I can probably even attempt to name.  First and foremost, I started med school.  That alone would have been enough, but God kept blessing me every month.  For that, amongst other things, I thank Him.

Looking back at 2009 – rough.  It did end on a pretty nice note (i.e. a few acceptances), but the path to get there was arduous, to say the least.  I wonder how appreciative I would have been of 2010 had I not lived through my 2009.  I am of the firm belief that trials and tribulations not only produce patience, but also empathy.  Had I coasted through these past few years, or even life, I would have run the risk of being colder. Of falling prey to the mentality of “Hey, I made it – why shouldn’t you? Why should I feel sorry for you? Why should I help you? Pull yourself up.”  I am truly grateful that I am not that person.  So, I guess I owe some thanks after all to 2009, R.I.P.

Now, 2010.  I thank you for the myriad of memories I have formed in my new, wonderful home in (arguably) the most gorgeous city in the nation.  I am happy to say that I am (finally) officially on the way to becoming a doctor.  I thank you for the many doors that have opened in my newfound field for me to pursue my curiosities.  I thank you for rebuilding my confidence – both in myself and in my fellow-man.  I thank you for the wonderful people I have met on this year-long journey and for allowing me to open up and disclose.  For learning to trust and take risks.  For daily pushing of myself to explore new things.  For assuring me I am exactly where I need to be.  I have laughed. I have cried. I won more than I lost. In sum, I survived and am a better person because of every last experience.  I take nothing back.  There are no mistakes – it all happens for a reason.

And now, for 2011. I am excited for what is in store for me.  There are a few doors starting to peek open right now and I am excited to see what lies behind each. 2011, I am ready for you! So, as they say down here, Laissez les bons temps rouler!

The Anatomy of Happiness

I just got back from a little holiday shopping with my wonderful mommy (love her!), and aside from realizing that I have lost my tolerance to cold, I realized how ridiculously blessed I am.  Yes, such an epiphany struck me in the middle of Barnes & Noble, of all places.  How did this all come about?  Well, while perusing the isles looking for different gifts for different people (self included, of course) I came across a display that caught my eye.  (Ironically, my mom was looking at a bunch of natural medicine books)  Anywho, this display was of Dr. Alice Robert’s “The Complete Human Body: the Definitive Visual Guide” – and visual it is.  Actually, I consider it beautiful.

Over the years, I have learned how much of a visual learner I am.  As such, page layouts and picture and color choices greatly affect the way I process information presented in books.  I literally stood there in the middle of the store flipping through page after page of lymphatic drainage, anastomoses, muscle, and bone, and looked like a kid on Christmas morning.  At a point, my mom stopped reading her book, turned and stared at me gawking at the busy, shiny pages. I have spent the past 4 months going page-by-page through the human body, but this book was more captivating than Grant’s or Netter’s or Grey’s human atlas of anatomy.  She jokingly asked me if I wanted one for Christmas, to which I seriously responded yes.  Then, I guiltily admitted that everything I was reading I had just learned this past semester in Anatomy.  Every.thing. Lol – NERD!  Whatever.  I still want one, I just won’t be pushing for a Christmas arrival.  I think it would make a fantastic book for my nonexistent coffee table

But that infatuation speaks to how enjoyable my life is right now.  That’s right – in med school, I absolutely love my life.  For the first time in life I am 120% certain that I am exactly where I am supposed to be.  While I might not know exactly where I am going, I know that 1) I am in the right profession and 2) at the right institution, speciality TBD.  That feeling – that warm, radiating, indescribable sensation – is priceless and brings a smile to my soul.  Or rather the peace and joy that feeling brings my soul radiates through my entire being and makes me smile.  Sure, there were multiple times this past semester when I prayed to God to make anatomy end (right around the time we reached the perineum and our cadavers were lying pelvis elevated, legs spread, revealing all for the world to see…ugh).  However, at the end of the day, I love what I’m doing.  I love gaining practical knowledge, I enjoy the deep thinking exercises known as SP, TBL, and PBL, and I actually love the soothing repetitiveness of sitting out and writing and re-writing pathways and lists until I know them inside-out.  Of course, having an amazing and fun class does nothing but help matters.  In sum, I.am.blessed. I.am.happy.